Le meilleur d'Omegle !

[Ziggie]

You: Hi

Stranger: whats up

You: I'm looking for some funny people

Stranger: Im drunk

You: great

Stranger: and looking for more drunkards

Stranger: and we can drink....over the internet

You: why not

Stranger: shot?

You: I've got vodka

Stranger: tequila? Cheap vodkda?

Stranger: FUCK RANDY MOSS

You: tequila salt and lemon

Stranger: with a squirt of piss

You: why randy moss ?

Stranger: did you see his "snatch" a few ticks ago

You: no sorry

Stranger: do you even watch football

You: sometimes

You: only with beers actually

Stranger: fuckin ay

Stranger: or bears

Stranger: ever watched a football game with a grizzly bear?

You: not but it could be funny

Stranger: I did once and it broke my fucking television

You: obvioulsy

Stranger: and then it tried to eat me so I stabbed it with a spork

You: grizzly don't like football

Stranger: the cool ones do

You: so I have to do that

You: where can I find a grizzly ?

Stranger: At your local zoo

You: I'll call them

Stranger: ive got the number...1 800 GrizzSex

You: waw sex with a grizzly, it must hurt

Stranger: If you had to have sex with any animal what would it be?

You: I think it could be fun with a pink floyd

You: and hurtless

Stranger: i guess

Stranger: no fun if it doesnt hurt at some point

You: a goose ?

Stranger: wtf thats weird

You: I love beaks

You: maybe you have a beak

You: I accept all instead swans, I hate them

Stranger: maybe

Stranger: Im going to smoke a cigg

You: after sex cig ?

Stranger: no drunk cigg

You: I prefer the after sex drunk one

Stranger: so does Jesus

You: I didnt even know that

Stranger: well...as they say you learn something new everyday

You: yes and my life would be better now

You: but I'm wondering if sex would be better with a pink floyd or a goose

You: or a toucan, big beak

You: I think you fell asleep on your keyboard

You: or you're calling the zoo

You: so I have to go

[Ziggie]

C'est un festival ce soir !

You: bouhou

Stranger: hello

You: bouhouhou

Stranger: holooloo

You: You want to marry me ?

Stranger: yes

You: we could speak the bouhouholooloo together

Stranger: yes we can

You: so great

You: are you a bouloo boy ?

Stranger: bouho !

You: oh you frightened me

You: dont bouho ! me like that

Stranger: dont be bohou

You: I feel be(ouhou)tter

Stranger: wrong spell bohoolo

You: you are hard with bohoo me

Stranger: you two

You: will you buy me boohoo cupcakes?

You: for our booweddinghoo

Stranger: give me some

You: I've only got bohoo taste

You: is it goohood for you ?

Stranger: yehhodlo

Stranger: youholo?

You: yehooloo

You: but you don't answerhooloo me

You: are you a boohooloo boy ?

You: or a hoolooloogirl maybe

Stranger: yhololo

You: I accept boohooboth

You: I'm a free boohoo

Stranger: meholool 2

You: so boohoo you are

You: I'm looking for a bohoo dress

Stranger: boyholo

You: fine hooloo

You: we could live in booloo world

You: with rainbowlooloo and whitebooloo cloudsbooloo

Stranger: okohoool

You: and a booloocat

You: or a hooloodog if you prefer

Stranger: choose!holo

You: pinkbouhoucatloo

You: I want a bouhou one

Stranger: okoloolo

You: I'm afraid I ve to gohoo

You: I workloloo tomorrox

You: so goohood night to youloo

[Lila-Rose]

Stranger: hey

You: Luke,i'm your father

Stranger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You: Yes

Stranger: but how?!

You: Hum thats a looong loong story my child

You: but Leila is your sister

Stranger: wtf dude

Stranger: we like.... well

You: DONT SPEAK THIS WAY TO YOUR FATHER

Stranger: hey

You: OR YOU WILL BE PUNISHED

Stranger: pfft we both know im the better jedi

You: :O

You: You killed me

You: You wanna make me cry?




Il répond plus

[Vilaine]

Rah zut j'ai pas gardé mes trucs moi.

Bon, en tout cas vous m'avez p'têtre eu parmis les fous une fois pasque :

je parlais avec un type trop sympa qui s'apellait Flo je crois. Puis Internet coupe, et là c'est le drame. Du coup après, je le cherchais partout en mettant FLO? FLO? FLO? ...

et à un moment, un mec, il me fais "Yes!" et moi, naive que je suis je fais "Omg, I've found you ! I'm so happy" et là, il dit, "No, I was just kidding" et il se barre. Et j'étais, genre, FOREVER ALONE.

[artificial-sweetener]

Un mec qui n'a qu'un seul mot dans son vocabulaire.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: Horny
You: hi
Stranger: Horny
You: hi
Stranger: Horny
You: hi
Stranger: Horny
You: no
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Leopoldine.]

You: Hello !
Stranger: hi
[…]
Stranger: how old
You: 22 and you? (et c'est même pas vrai, j'ai menti)
Stranger: same
Stranger: haha
You: A lot of people are 22
Stranger: yes
Stranger: nice number
[…]
Stranger: u pretty
You: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Like all the french girls!
Stranger: yah
Stranger: i wish i have one
You: But France is a bit far from Canada
Stranger: yah
You: Maybe you should look for a canadian girl
Stranger: i want french
Stranger: what u think
[…]
Stranger: i think i have chance to have french girl
Stranger: now
You: So good luck!
[…]


J'ai compris qu'il avait envie de se taper une Française J'en ai marre de ne tomber que sur des pervers.