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Tracy Jacks · 13/02/2011, 17h08

Citation:

Posté par Beautifully Broken

"After hearing the news about the Jasper, the narrator and two soldiers sat on a rock, they looked at the ocean in silence. Theirs eyes were turned toward the horizon, they listened to the sound of waves. Suddenly, the narrator broke this heavy silence."

C'est grammaticalement correct, mais moi, j'aurais plutôt dit "After having heard". Sinon, "their" est invariable, pas de "s". Et si tu veux te la péter belle gosse angliche, tu peux remplacer " they looked at the ocean" par "they stared at the ocean", si tu veux renforcer un peu le côté "regard fixe et perdu".

Rain · 13/02/2011, 17h10

Citation:

Posté par Tracy Jacks

C'est grammaticalement correct, mais moi, j'aurais plutôt dit "After having heard". Sinon, "their" est invariable, pas de "s". Et si tu veux te la péter belle gosse angliche, tu peux remplacer " they looked at the ocean" par "they stared at the ocean", si tu veux renforcer un peu le côté "regard fixe et perdu". ;)

Wow merci pour les corrections :) ! Tu es trop forte !

Tracy Jacks · 13/02/2011, 17h35

Citation:

Posté par Beautifully Broken

Wow merci pour les corrections

! Tu es trop forte !

My pleasure

Citation:

Posté par Beautifully Broken

- «This turnaround situation is so strange. It's incredible.
I don't understand how this could happen ! I thought I'd have seen everything in war but life's so unpredictable...» the narrator began quietly.

- «Yes, it is. As they say, "Don't put the cart before the horse" ! Who'd have expected ? We were jealous of Symes, we said "Symes is lucky, he goes at home. The nightmare is over for him" we hated him, and now ... Now he's dead.» an other soldier replied bitterly.
«He was courageous, wasn't he ?»

- «Yes, he was. I regretted my behavior !» the third soldier whispered reluctantly.

- «So do I. Latest feelings that we've had for him were negatives. I find us unfair, I hated Symes but his reaction was so understandable. He opposed the colonel, he admitted to being a coward to preserve his life and probably also to preserve his family. We all wanted to be like him, we all wanted to stay alive ! But he is dead.»

(j'éditerai le post au fur et à mesure que j'écris mon dialogue)

- This turnaround is so strange. "Turnaround situation", ça sonne bizarre je trouve, mais je ne suis sûre de rien.
I thought nothing would surprise me anymore after the war... pour "I thought that I'd have seen everything in war", car il me semble que la conjugaison est problématique, mais que je ne serais peut être pas capable de la corriger. Donc reformulé, mais c'est peut être un contresens, ça dépend du sens que tu veux donner.

- We were saying au lieu de "we said" et he goes home plutôt que "he goes at home"

- I regret my behaviour

- The latest feelings we had about him were negative/wrong (les adjectifs sont invariables en anglais). I think we've been unfair with him, I hated Symes but his reaction seems so logical (et pas "logic" donc) to me now. He rebelled against the colonel, he admitted he was a coward to protect his life and probably his family, also. La suite est très correcte

Roo · 13/02/2011, 17h37

Also it would be "they were listening" and not "they listened".. as for the rest, i would have changed a few things:

"«This turnaround situation is so strange. It's incredible.
I don't understand how this could happen ! I thought I'd have seen everything at war but life's so unpredictable...» the narrator began quietly.

- «Yes, it is. As they say, "Don't put the cart before the horse" ! Who'd have expected ? We were jealous of Symes, we were saying "Symes is lucky, he goes home. The nightmare is over for him" we hated him, and now ... Now he's dead.» an other soldier replied bitterly.
«He was courageous, wasn't he ?»

- «Yes, he was. I regret my behavior !» the third soldier whispered reluctantly.

- «So do I. The latest feelings that we've had for him were negative ones. I find us unfair, I hated Symes but his reaction was so understandable. He opposed the colonel, he admitted being a coward to preserve his life and probably also to preserve his family. We all wanted to be like him, we all wanted to stay alive ! But now he is dead.» the narrator declared crossly."

Crossly does sound a bit weird to me, not that it's wrong but it just doesn't sound very natural.

edit: uh well didn't see Tracy Jack's post..

Roo · 13/02/2011, 17h43

Citation:

Posté par Tracy Jacks

My pleasure

- This turnaround is so strange. "Turnaround situation", ça sonne bizarre je trouve, mais je ne suis sûre de rien.

I think instead of saying 'this turnaround is so strange' i would say 'What a twist..." sounds more natural to me.

Tracy Jacks · 13/02/2011, 17h55

Aha shit, I tried to prove I was fluent in english but I failed

Anyway : FUCK YEAH, solidarity rocks.

Rain · 13/02/2011, 18h35

Merci beaucoup les filles ! Vraiment merci à toutes les 3 vous êtes au top ! :)

Donc, voilà ce que ça donne avec les conseils de chacune mis en commun :

After they heard (merci Nadezhda) the news about the Jasper, the narrator and two soldiers sat on a rock. They stared at the ocean (merci Tracy Jacks), in silence. Their (merci Tracy Jacks) eyes were turned toward the horizon, they were listening (merci Roo) to the sound of waves. Suddenly, the narrator broke this heavy silence.

- «This turnaround is so strange (merci Tracy Jacks). It's incredible, I don't understand how this possibly happened (merci Nadezhda) ! I thought nothing would surprise me anymore after the war (merci Tracy Jacks) but life's so unpredictable...» the narrator began quietly.
- «Yes. As they say, "Don't put the cart before the horse" ! Who'd have expected ? We were jealous of Symes, we were saying (merci Tracy Jacks et Roo) "Symes is lucky, he goes home (merci Tracy Jacks). The nightmare is over for him" we hated him, and now ... Now he's dead.» an other soldier replied bitterly. «*He was courageous, wasn't he ?»
- «Yes, he was. I regret (merci Tracy Jacks et Roo) my behaviour ! » the third soldier whispered reluctantly.
- «So do I. The (merci Roo) latest feelings that we've had for him were negative (merci Tracy Jacks). I think we've been unfair with him, I hated Symes but his reaction seems so logical (merci Nadezhda) to me now (merci Tracy Jacks). He rebelled against the colonel, he admitted he was a coward to protect his life and probably his family, also (merci Tracy Jacks). We all wanted to be like him, we all wanted to stay alive ! But now (merci Roo) he's dead.» the narrator declared sadly (merci Roo).

Jehn. · 13/02/2011, 18h43

The other day, one of the girls I live with (I'm not really friend with her but we get along well) told me she was sometimes very impressed at how well I could speak English... because I swear and know more slang than she does.

... I don't really know how I'm supposed to take this. I used to be the French girl who smokes, now I know I'm the French girl who smokes and swears. It gets better and better, ahah.

Rain · 13/02/2011, 19h17

Voilà la suite et fin de mon dialogue, il ne doit faire que 250 mots ! J'en ai fait 317 mais je ne vois pas trop quoi enlever ! Tant pis. Enfin bon, la fin donne ça :

- «We wanted to stay fight and we had escaped to the death. Symes escaped the battlefields but he died at sea. His fate is tragic. For us, "all's well that ends well", the war is over but Symes didn't deserve of death, he fought like us, although he has finally cracked up, it was a true fighter before his departure.» the third added.
- «Nobody deserves to die. Unfortunately, you never can predict anything : "Sufficient unto the day is the evil there of." » the second soldier replied.
- «I propose that each of us threw an object at sea, in tribute to Symes.» the narrator announced shyly.

Each of them threw an object and they made a minute's silence before leaving.

Vraiment merci beaucoup pour m'avoir corrigé tout au long du dialogue, c'est super gentil de votre part d'avoir pris le temps de chercher de meilleures tournures de phrases, tout ça !

Roo · 14/02/2011, 01h18

Citation:

Posté par Beautifully Broken

Voilà la suite et fin de mon dialogue, il ne doit faire que 250 mots ! J'en ai fait 317 mais je ne vois pas trop quoi enlever ! Tant pis. Enfin bon, la fin donne ça :

- «We wanted to stay and fight, we escaped from death. Symes escaped from the battlefields but he died at sea. His fate is tragic. For us, "all's well that ends well", the war is over but Symes didn't deserve death, he fought like us, although he had cracked up in the end, he was a true fighter before his departure.» the third added.
- «Nobody deserves to die. Unfortunately, you never can predict anything : "Sufficient unto the day is the evil there of." » the second soldier replied.
- «I propose that each of us threw an object in the sea, as a tribute to Symes.» the narrator announced shyly.

Each of them threw an object and they made a minute's silence before leaving.

Vraiment merci beaucoup pour m'avoir corrigé tout au long du dialogue, c'est super gentil de votre part d'avoir pris le temps de chercher de meilleures tournures de phrases, tout ça !

Hop! :small: I probably missed some mistakes cause it's late... and as for the verb "to crack up" it means to have a nervous breakdown indeed but i think it's most common use is "you crack me up" as in "tu me fais mourir de rire".

Rain · 14/02/2011, 11h03

Citation:

Posté par Roo

Hop! :small: I probably missed some mistakes cause it's late... and as for the verb "to crack up" it means to have a nervous breakdown indeed but i think it's most common use is "you crack me up" as in "tu me fais mourir de rire".

Thank you very much Roo :D And, consequently, instead of "to crack up" I used "to collapse" ! Moreover, in the sentence : "I propose that each of us threw an object in the sea, as a tribute to Symes" in place of "threw" I said "throws" !

Roo · 14/02/2011, 17h45

Actually i checked and when you want to say that you escaped death meaning you escaped a tragical fate, something that was bound to happen, you can say "to escape from death".

My students were so cute today, they asked me to teach them some tongue twisters like "les chaussettes de l'archiduchesse sont-elles sèches? archi-sèches!". Then they taught me some english ones.

Delgnat · 27/02/2011, 12h34

Citation:

Posté par Lokelani.

My little bees,

Comment diriez-vous "[...] cela perturberait l'équilibre des Etats-Unis" ?
Je trouve que balance sonne bizarre, et equilibrium je sais pas du tout si ça marche... Merci !

En politique on dit "the balance of power" pour l'équilibre des forces, donc je pense que ça doit aussi être "balance" de manière plus générale

Alecto · 02/03/2011, 22h21

I had to read a text in German (I am a complete beginner) and when I finished, my teacher asked me what my mother tongue is. She said I sound English while reading German. So it definitly means that my German accent is shitty, but at least I don't sound French, and that is a complete victory!

marialicious · 03/03/2011, 00h15

It's the opposite for many students in my school, I live in Alsace and a lot of people have the Alsatian accent so they sound German when they read English...

Gustave · 03/03/2011, 00h51

My accent sucks big time. There, I said it!

Jehn. · 03/03/2011, 07h22

Citation:

Posté par Báthory

My accent sucks big time. There, I said it!

I used to feel the same way about mine... before a bunch of people (among whom a few really really cute guys) told me how adorable it was. Not ashamed of my accent anymore !

marialicious · 03/03/2011, 15h18

Same for me, my accent could be worse but I still sound French... But I have to admit I'm quite proud of it, I think that the French accent is one of the prettiest ones... I would for example hate having a German accent !